Looking Back
by DarknessEmbodied
Summary: I breathed in the scent of roses that filled the palace. His palace, soon to be our palace. Then if Olaf hid the knife under my pillow like I ordered him to, my palace. I smiled not because today was my wedding day, or because I was marrying,"The Prince of my Dreams". I was smiling because after 14 years of plotting and waiting, my plan was finally coming together.


**Looking back is a bit of an Evil AU frozen fanfic. Revolves around the idea that Olaf was a demon of ice that had entered Anna's mind as a child. The rest is What Ifs. I have long been unsatisfied with Anna's character and wondered one day what if being naive and flimsy had been Anna's plan all along. If that was so, why? I'll continue the story if you guys are interested._ Does not include plot and/or characters of Frozen 2!_**

I breathed in the scent of roses that filled the palace. His palace, soon to be our palace. Then in a couple of hours, if Olaf hid the knife under my pillow like I ordered him to, my palace.

I smiled as tucked the box of matches into the secret pocket I had sewn into my dress. Not because today was my long awaited wedding day, or because I was marrying, what I had told the press, was the "Prince Of My Dreams". No, I was smiling because after 14 years of plotting and waiting, my plan was finally coming together.

"Your Highness?" a middle-aged servant called me, awe clear in her tone.

"The royal seamstress is ready for you to try on your wedding gown" I smiled at her, completely concealing the fact that her interruption of my thoughts annoyed me greatly.

"Of course" I answered gently. "Thank you for coming to get me. Would you be so kind as to escort me there? I would greatly appreciate it." I could see her flush at being acknowledged, let alone thanked kindly. Without a word, she led me to to the seamstress. I smirked internally. I hoped all the rest of the staff, and the subjects of the Southern Isles, would be just as easy to manipulate. I wasn't exactly surprised when the maid was so easily fooled though. Their prince was, with only a little more effort.

Hans was just so desperate for love, that if the trolls hadn't taken away my ability to feel emotion when I was four, I would've pitied him. Segregated from the world outside the palace, tormented by his twelve older brothers for as long as he could remember, a mother who died birthing him, a tyrannical father, he had the whole tragic tale ready share with the first person who showed him any affection. Honestly, I was expecting more of a challenge. He readily threw his undying love and devotion at me after a few well timed awkward moments, a hug and promise. A promise of marriage. So, after a few more, _complicated_ events, here I am, ready to make a sacred promise to Hans, one that had me live the rest of my life with him. A life that would only last a few more hours.

My mind was brought back to the palace when the dark-haired servant announced,

"We're here, Your Highness" I thanked her graciously before entering the room. The seamstress was an older woman, with sharp eyes and graying dark hair. She was a no nonsense woman, and immediately she had me into the gown and began altering it to fit me better. She was tougher, but with a few well worded compliments and a promise of an obedient silence for the remainder of the fitting, I had won her over. Everyone was so naive, both here and in Arendell. Olaf had trained me for challenges, and I had none so far. Well, except for a certain ice harvester and his sorry excuse for a reindeer.

Kristoff was smart. Too smart for ice harvester. I had gone on that overdramatic chase hoping to find the man raised by trolls. Well, I should say I had hoped that he would have been troll-like. Heavy, slow, thinks he has all the answers based on his title, arrogant, and makes horrible choices which leads on to blame on some spirit or whatnot. Not only was he fast, fit, contemplative, considerate and well informed, he had an obnoxious reindeer who tagged along who I had to pretend to tolerate. If I hadn't known I would have to dispose of him soon, I would have been endeared. It was a challenge, I'll admit. It took a long while for him to trust me, something I wasn't used to. But, after a few more days than normal, I had him not only trusting me entirely, but as an added bonus, he was harboring romantic feelings for me. Things couldn't have been more perfect. And when we had to jump that cliff to escape from the wolves Olaf startled, well, a small slip up was all it took. He was gone. And as for that disgusting reindeer, well, let's just say unfortunately, there was another pack of wolves nearby.

I smirked, which must have looked like a smile of approval because the elderly seamstress simply said.

"All finished, your highness. I wish you the best of luck for the ceremony and a happy life for you and our king"

As she began removing the gown, I remembered what Olaf and I had done to his brothers and the king. Our methods varied from brother to brother. Four died of unrecognizable illnesses, two died when stabbed in the back by a mysterious assailant, three were beaten to death by faceless men after having too much to drink, three more sailed away on an adventure only to never return, and the king supposedly died of old age. No one knew those were only the lies Olaf and I had fed them. They were just chewing contentedly, never suspecting a thing.

After redressing in my day dress, I started on my way to meet Olaf for a last time before becoming queen of both Arendelle and the Southern Isles. I had something quite interesting to tell Olaf. I wasn't even halfway there when I was approached by a teary-eyed manservant. Based his pale skin and reddish-brown hair, I could tell he was one of the few I had brought with me from Arendelle.

"Your Highness," He said, his voice breaking slightly. I quickly schooled my features into a face of confusion and concern.

"Whatever is the matter? You appear terribly distressed." I grinned inwardly, was Olaf really this quick?

"Your Highness" He said again, " I come bearing grievous tidings. Oaken, The Duke of Weasalton and those who accompanied them on their ship were lost at sea. The ship began to break up. For no reason at all, the nails and tar that held the planks together loosened and dissolved, causing the ship to wreck within observation distance. By the time our support arrived everyone had drowned and every part of the ship had sunk, save for a single wood plank with a whole carrot stuck to it. This appears to be a cruel twist of fate and therefore we do not believe that it should be approached as a crime. Of course, the decision falls to you, Your Highness."

Before I answer, I groan internally. Really, Olaf? I think. You've done this twice now and you still leave the same bit of evidence. First with my parents, and now. He's lucky enough that everyone's dense enough not to put two and two together. He left the same bloody carrot last time! I take a deep breath, and I hope it looks like I'm trying to hold in tears rather than trying not to lash out.

"My Lord," I say breathlessly, sounding disbelieving. I swallow loudly for effect and blink until I feel tears gather in my eyes.

"Well, this is certainly dreadful news" I like the way dreadful sounds. It's poetic. Dread. Dead.

"I agree with the decision to label it an accident. As you said, is was a cruel twist of fate and nothing can be done now. I say we go through with the wedding and host their funerals immediately the next morning." I purse my lips. Because Hans is still unfortunately breathing, he must have the final say.

"Be sure to receive the King's approval before doing anything though. Also, please check in with those setting up the funerals will concern."

The man nods and hurries off. Though he is about ten feet behind me now, I can hear the muffled sobs and imagine the tears falling freely now that I am no longer looking at him. Why is he so concerned? Then it dawns on me. He was Oaken's nephew. Oh well, there was nothing I can do now, and besides, I would have done the same thing even if I had known. This man's wasted grief means nothing to me. I learned that it was foolish to grieve over the sea's dead when my parents died. To be fair, they died by my hand. But I did grieve, a bit, before Olaf told me what I am thinking now.

I begin walking again before a memory overtakes me. I was 14...

_I watched as my parents put their key in the padlock and opened my sisters bedroom door. My father, the king, put the key back in his breast pocket, step inside after my mother and close the door silently behind them. It's been ten years since the trolls and ten years since I met Olaf. There was no way to kill my sister without being found out. Ever since Olaf had introduced the idea to me last year, (Kill my sister and become queen after my parents pass away) I couldn't figure out how to do it. Since very few people got to see her, let alone come in contact with her, and since I was not one of them, that limited my options greatly. I could try and steal the key from my parents, but since I was the only one with access to their bedroom, all evidence would point to me. They may not execute me, the legal punishment for murder in our kingdom, but even if they all died, a murder would prevent me from inheriting the throne. _

_I realize that my parents are my biggest obstacles. I consider giving up when Olaf says to leave this to him. I agree. Then Olaf disappears. The next day, my parents are called across the sea for urgent business to Corona. A couple weeks later, I hear they drowned at sea. The only evidence found was a plank with a carrot attached to it. With a start I realize it was Olaf who did this. I almost confessed to Elsa. But I realized it was for the best, there were fewer obstacles now. So I began to plan how the rest of my life will go. _

I came to the end of the hallway I was walking. If I turned right, I would continue on for precisely three minutes. If I turned left though… Well, if I turned left I would pass to sets of guards before coming to a staircase. If I go down that staircase I'll reach hallway filled with barred prison cells. I continued down that hall, I'd reach another shorter staircase that wood lead me to a single room. Cette room has no windows, nor any furniture. It's been divided in half, a wall made of silver bars separates the small cell from whoever comes to visit. Right now, my sister should lay in that cell. Silver bars to diminish the powers that should be starved out of her. It's been so long since I last visited her, I wonder if she's still breathing.

As I turned to the right, I remembered the first time I visited her since I had hauled her here. I almost pitied her, how embarrassing, the fallen prophesied queen of Arendelle hauled unconscious to an isolated cell across the sea. And I told her so…

_I sat watching her battered chest barely rise when she took at a breath. I wondered if I would even have to execute her. The idea was immediately shot down when her eyes flutter open and sits up with a groan. She blinks as she takes in her surroundings. Her eyes land on me and stop. _

"_Anna?" she asks wearily. The pity that surges up in my chest enrages me. I sigh. Despite how deceptive and devoid of emotion I can be with others, I could be nothing but honest when it came to her. As much as I wish we didn't we're sisters and we share a certain bond. _

"_Queen Anna of Arendelle" I reply sharply but my victorious smile came out bitter. _

"_Queen?" she asks. I know she is too weak to elaborate so I fill in the blanks. _

"_Yes, I am the queen of Arendelle. You are the fallen prophesied queen and everyone save for myself thinks you died in this ice storm you created on the harbour."_

"_Where…"_

"_Where is simple. The isolated holding cell in In Hans' castle in the Southern Isles."_

"_Why…" This is beginning to become frustrating but I have to spill to somebody, why not someone close to you who is about to die?_

"_Why? Because I am going to marry Hans, of course. Well, then kill him, but that's a different matter entirely."_

"_But Kristoff…. You said you loved…" she is getting stronger. Good. Maybe then this won't be so excruciating. _

"_I said I loved them both but in truth I loved neither. I've said a lot of things I didn't mean in my lifetime, Elsa. From telling you I wanted to build a snowman to saying wedding vows I know I won't keep. Hans was easy to manipulate and he came with a kingdom. And you had thought it was the other way around. You thought I was the one being deceived. Hans grew up in home devoid of love and filled with pain. I almost feel guilty for plotting to murder him."_

_I smile wickedly, then continue._

"_Kristoff and Sven were not planned but were solved just as easily. Sven was killed and eaten by a pack of grey wolves that Olaf had roused and Kristoff died saving my life." I took a deep breath, and finally allowed myself to feel for Kristoff. Olaf never told me that part of his plan, and I probably would have died if not for him. And in the deepest depths of my heart, I knew Kristoff was the closest thing I would ever come to love- romantic attraction. _

_Elsa must have sensed this because her face became one of pity. I desperately wanted to change the subject but all this had been pent up too long and I desperately needed it to flow out. So I told her the whole bloody story of my life. She just listened as I poured my heart out. _

"_When you shot me in the head, there was nothing physically wrong with me. I just felt cold and my head was tender. But when mother and father came and they were so angry with you and so worried about me, My four year old mind thought it would be better to pretend to be asleep. I did some research in the palace library a few days ago. The King Ananias, Hans' great, great, great, great, great, grandfather had fire and heat power similar to yours. His recording said a protection spell should have been put on me to protect me from formless magical creatures looking for a body rather than trying to replace my memories. Because that's exactly what happened. _

_They didn't take away my memories, they just added more and an evil formless magical creature did enter my mind. While we were riding back to the palace, I felt something slither into my mind. It seemed to take the form of a snake, wrapping itself around my mind, familiarizing itself and becoming comfortable. Then it took the form of snow, covering my mind, and suffocating my thoughts and emotions. Everything I later thought and did was filtered by him. He told me to call him Olaf. He made me a murder, Elsa!" I screamed the last line, finally letting the blackness of that thought overtake me. _

"_Anna, it's not your fault." she says but I can tell her heart isn't in it._

"_But it is. He murdered and had me murder everyone Elsa. He murdered our parents." She was shocked silent. _

_I listed off the names of everyone he had murdered and how he had me murder them. How he orchestrated it all. _

"_This is the first time in fifteen years I have had sole control over my thoughts. And this will be the last time for a while. He is far enough away that I can act on my own without him knowing. I have to one thing right Elsa. I must try to atone for every wrong." She nods looking unsure. _

"_Elsa," I ask, if I am to never see her again I must know this. "Can you forgive me? For everything?" My voice breaks._

"_Yes" she says with absolute certainty. _

The memory fades from my mind. Three minutes later and I stood before a gilded oak door. Through our connection, I could feel Olaf's displeasure. I knew I had been close enough that he could read my memory when I let it overtake me. That was my plan.

I knew what Olaf would try to do as soon as I enter the room. But King Ananias' books had taught me more than I´d let on. I found the spell that would have kept me safe as a child as well as one that would protect my mind from him.

I took a deep breath as I grasped the door handle. I would still go through with our plan. Hans would still die, I would still become queen. But I would be a very different type of queen than he wanted me to be. And Elsa would not die. She would be free as she had always wanted to be. And I would be cold, alone and suffocated by lies and responsibilities as I had always deserved to be. I slid my hand into the pocket and fingered the matches. Love may thaw, but fury will melt. I steadied myself, took a deep breath, and opened the door.


End file.
